Occidental Audiophonical Anecdotes

Just trips off the tongue, doesn't it? Occidental Audiophonical Anecdotes. These are a collection of audio versions of the stories in the book 'The Occidental Tourists'. But to be honest, I have made a few changes and the audio pieces are more 'product' than true to the original stories. I have jazzed them up a bit. Taken liberties. Lied. Or did I?

I might have lied in the first place and have come clean. You'll never know. But try them anyway.

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Number 1

It Ain't Half Hot Mumbai          Miraj                                        Cookie Monster

Arrival in India for the first time - 1996                Journey from Mumbai to Goa  - 1996           Hash cookie insanity in the desert.  Sam Dunes, Rajasthan - 1997

Number 2

To Fly like a Bird                       Much ado about nothing                       Massage a la Brutal 

A festival that appears to be Kerala's                 Brouhaha on a flight to Delhi. Not to be confused               Massage with a stark difference.

best kept secret to this day -  Chenkal 2000      with the Shakespeare classic - 2013                                     Diu Island 2017 

Number 3

Upstaging the Mahatama               Oh Kolkata                                   Tara Maa Tara

Unwanted attention and hidden agendas

the Gandhi Ancestral Home.  Porbandar - 2017

A narrow escape from Nikoncussion on a flight from Mumbai to Kolkata in 2019


Brahmin Bunkum leads to Darshan

and Dash.  Tarapith - 2019

Number 4

Spiritual Intercourse          At the Mandir of Madness            The Fakest Show on Earth

Constructional coitus, a Basilica of the Bizarre, and a clear case of deicide cover-up.

Veraval - 2017

What weird, wonderful, strange, and sinister things you find on random strolls through Indian towns and cities.

Tarapith - 2019

Tickets to see the Naga Sadhus performing ceremonies in their camp on the eve of the most auspicious day of the Kumbh. It just seemed too good to be true, and you know what they say?    Pryag Raj - 2019

Number 5

Say Saddam                                Tragical Mystery Tour                           Coco Nutjob

Don't say 'Cheese', say 'Saddam'. A clear case of mistaken identity on a beach in Gujarat - 2017

Abandonment, rip-off, backstabbing, and a good deed done down. A day that just kept on giving

Uttah Pradesh - 2013

Festival time is a time of giving, and the festival of Dasara is no exception. But beware of Sikhs bearing gifts. (Actually they were Hindus, but that didn't work nearly as well as Sikhs). Especially the gifts that keep on giving, despite your prayers to all the 33 million gods for it to stop.  Madikeri - 2015

Number 6

Gorehound                                  Packnophobia                                   The Occidental Tourists

Meat is Murder so Fowl. And never have murderers been more happy at their work. Meeting Junagadh's jovial slaughter men in their carnival of carnage.

Junagadh - 2017

Cabin and baggage? Guns and ammo?! What the FAQ!


Of hospitality and cordiality, enough to make you wilt. Chance encounters, kindness to strangers, and big fat helpings of guilt. Graciousness, altruism, generosity, and why you should avoid them at all costs.  Junagadh - 2017

                         Occidental Audiophonical

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